The Time I Got Benched For "Too Much Attitude"

I was ten. I had just eliminated the entire back row of the opposing team in under ninety seconds, and I was — by every metric that mattered to me — having the best day of my athletic life. Mr. Halloran did not see it that way. He blew the whistle, pointed at the bench, and told me I had "too much attitude for a friendly game." I would like to note: nothing about that game was friendly. It was dodgeball. There is a ball. It is meant to be thrown at people. That is the entire premise.

I sat on that bench for the rest of the period, arms crossed, radiating what I can only assume was maximum attitude, and I made a promise to myself that I intend to keep for the rest of my natural life: I will never again apologize for being good at something because it made someone else uncomfortable. If my aim rattles you, that's between you and your reflexes. I'm just playing the game as written.

Filed under: things I regret nothing about